A Sirius Obsession
by Lyongirl
Summary: Remus has a problem with watching Sirius, but Padfoot has built up some bad mojo from his days as a whore and now all Remus can do is follow along and hold on tight. Stir in a love potion and some holiday spirit. This obsession just became serious.


_**Title:**_ A Sirius Obsession  
><em><strong>Genre: <strong>_romance, angst,  
><em><strong>Pairing: <strong>_Remus Lupin + Sirius Black (This is a fic on their time at Hogwarts, seventh year.)  
><em><strong>RatingWarning: **_M for future chapters *eyebrow waggle*  
><em><strong>Summary: <strong>_Remus has a problem, almost an obsession. He can't seem to take his eyes off of Sirius, but Padfoot has built up some bad mojo from his days as a whore and now all Remus can do is follow along and hold on tight. Stir in a love potion and some holiday spirit. This obsession just became serious.

_Calm down! _Remus scolded himself as his heart began to beat faster and faster until he was sure Sirius, who happened to be sitting on him, would hear it. He'd noticed it lately, his awareness of Sirius was growing. Whenever Sirius was in the room Remus felt a nagging feeling to stare at him, one he far to often indulged, if Sirius sat next to him he had to resist the strong urge he had to lean against him and inhale his scent, and, god forbid, if Sirius ever touched him his heart would start pounding as if he'd just completed a 400 meter dash, and his face would redden. He knew what all these things meant, but he preferred to ignore them, simply brushing them off as a fluke, or as being Sirius's fault.

It was all his fault, Remus thought as he shoved weakly on Sirius' back, attempting to push his much taller and heavier friend from off his poor abused legs. It was his fault for being so damned beautiful, his fault he had the sexiest frickn' voice Remus had ever heard, and it was his fault he had such extremely arousing habits. The way he twisted a strand of his long black hair around his finger while concentrating, how he chewed on the pad of his thumb when he was nervous, the way he would stretch long and luxuriously when he felt the attention had drifted a bit too far from him, and how he bit his lower lip while he was daydreaming, all of these sent Remus gasping for breath if he stared for to long. Just about anything Sirius did excited Remus now.

He gave one last feeble push on Sirius' back before giving up and leaning back in his arm chair to listen to James prattle on about Lily Evan's. "Frickn' oaf," he muttered, trying to get used to the loss of feeling he now had in his legs and ignore his pulse at the same time. Sirius responded by wiggling himself backward, closer to Remus' crotch. Remus held in a gasp as his jeans scrapped against his cock, already more alert then it should be.

Remus attempted to ignore the constant shifting Sirius was doing, which was causing his already swelling cock to come even more alert, and his heart to switch from a simple dash to a marathon. He needed Sirius off him fast or he'd have a lot of explaining to do. He tried worming his way backward, further into the soft cushions of the armchair, but only succeeded in getting Sirius to try flattening him against the back of the chair by leaning backwards on him. Sirius' hair fell into Remus's face and he inhaled a rich sent of hazel mixed with something he couldn't quiet place. He tried blowing the hair out of his face before he became drunk off the scent, but the half ponytail that Sirius wore wouldn't budge, so instead Remus took a mouth full of it and yanked as hard as he could.

"Bloody- What the hell was that for?" he yelled out in pain, interrupting James' chatter. Whirling around he faced Remus while clutching his head and glaring.

Remus took the chance to shove his friend off him entirely causing him to fall backwards and onto the floor. He quickly tucked his legs up into his chest, creating a barrier in case Sirius still wanted to sit with him.

"I'm not a chair Sirius, as I have informed you countless times. I would appreciate if you quit using me as such." he said loftily looking down at Sirius who was now staring up at him in shock. James snorted and began to chuckle at his friends, Peter quickly joining in. Then a smile broke across Sirius's face and he began to laugh as well.

"Ah- but you're so good at it Moony," he complained, still grinning, as he folded his arms on the corner of the cushion and rested his chin on them, looking up at Remus with big innocent eyes. Remus lifted his eyebrow and planted the heal of his shoeless foot on Sirius' forehead.

"Well, then this chair is rebelling," he said firmly, grinding his foot lightly into his friends face.

Sirius swiped Remus's foot away and laid down on the rug in front of the fireplace, still grinning. Sirius could be so charming, especially when he was smiling. He had this odd little crooked smile that opened just wide enough on one side to reveal him gleaming white canines. After spending so much time watching Sirius he still couldn't believe how incredibly white his teeth were. They looked like something out of muggle toothpaste commercials, only without the see-throughness. There was no doubt about it, Sirius had the nicest teeth Remus had ever seen.

Padfoot propped himself up on his elbows from the floor and met Remus' stare for a moment, flashed his super-powered teeth, sending his admirer's head soaring, then turned to James. "Hey, what was that fantastic thing you'd heard about Evans?" he asked, referring to their previous conversation.

"Oh, right!" James exclaimed, remembering. "O.k. so I was walking down the charms corridor the other day and I heard Allen saying-"

"Wait which Allen? The blond one with the split chin or the dork with glasses?" Sirius asked, attempting to think.

"Neither, it was Allen McGirth. Ya know the 2nd year with the buzz cut in Ravenclaw."

"Oh, him!" exclaimed Peter excitedly.

"Yea, anyways, I heard him talking to Jane, who said she'd heard from one of Evans's dorm mates, who'd spoken to Evans' friend and said that she was complaining about the way Evans is constantly talking about me." he said numbering off the people on his fingers. All of his friends just stared at him while he beamed back.

"Mate, I don't mean to be a downer, but that's a hell of a lot of people, the message could have just gotten mixed up." Sirius said gently.

"Then there's the fact that you could have simply heard it wrong yourself." Moony pointed out, "After-all, you're not exactly well known for your common sence when it comes to Evans."

"Plus there's the fact that she hates you." Peter added bluntly.

James shook his head in defiance. "She doesn't hate me Wormtail, my common sense works just fine, thanks, Moony, and I'm absolutely positive that the information was all right." he contradicted them as he crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly.

"Oh?" Sirius questioned, a mischievous glint coming into his eyes. "How do you know oh wise one?"

"It's simple. It's pretty obvious that she likes me, I mean, why else would she treat me so differently from say Moony?" he said as if that single reason alone proved that Lily Evans was head over heals in love with him.

"Umm, maybe because she _hates_ you?" Moony tried to reason. There was just no communicating with James when he got wrapped around an idea that involved Lily Evans.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Sirius said holding up his hands. The glint had grown into a bright light that illuminated his eyes as they glanced hungrily to the portrait hole that Lily had just climbed in through. "Maybe we should believe him Moon. I mean he's so sure of himself- heck! I bet he'd go over there and ask her out right now and she'd _obviously_ say yes since she's _so _into him." he said sarcastically, nodding his head to where Evans stood.

James turned and looked; Remus could see a bit of fear in his eyes, but it was gone in a flash in the light of the challenge. "O.k. I will." he declared as he marched off toward the red head.

Sirius covered a snicker with his hand and glanced over at Remus. He was met with a cocked eyebrow.

"I really don't understand how you two can be so close, yet you torture him constantly," Remus said exasperatedly, leaning back into his chair. Sirius only chuckled in answer.

Only minutes after he'd left James returned with a solemn look and red mark on his face. His three friends watched him as he sat down on the couch facing the fire, not looking at any of them.

"I-um-may have been, miss lead." he said hesitantly, staring hard into the flames.

Sirius burst out laughing, Peter put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, and Remus just rolled his eyes. He liked James a good deal, but he was often surprised by how incredibly stupid he could be. Lilly had hated him for ages; she wasn't suddenly going to stop doing so when James' attitude had made little improvement.

"Blimey Prongs, what in Merlin's name did you say to make her slap you?" the dog questioned once he'd calmed down a bit.

"Don't really know honestly. Just asked 'er if she'd like to have a butterbeer with me and then spend the night together." he said still looking puzzled.

Remus's jaw nearly fell open. Stupid, remarkably stupid. Sirius, once again, bent over double, clutching at his ribs as he cackled and Peter just blushed and looked at his hands.

James looked confused at his friends reactions for a moment until the meaning of his words sunk in, then he was laughing right along with Sirius.

"Honestly Prongs, you just made a terrible blunder in front of the girl you lik-I mean obsess over, and you're laughing? I really don't think I'm never going to be able to grasp your logic." Remus said reaching for his bag, from which he drew his potions essay.

James just rolled his eyes and kept laughing.

Moony was thoroughly confused with all of James' antics on Lily. If Sirius ever denied him, Remus would most likely find the closest hole and bury himself in it. Though that would require him to confess to Sirius. Remus made a face behind his parchment, such a thing wasn't likely to happen any time soon. The Gryffindor sighed and began to skim over his essay.

Professor Slughorn had assigned them a three page essay on the complexities of what ever potion a belching cauldron spat out. He'd been given Love Potion. All things considered he was lucky. Love potions had simple enough parameters, and the basic idea of them was easy to comprehend. That was where the simplicities stopped though.

There were so many ways one could alter a love potion. Even someone with the simplest understanding of how they worked could twist the potion to do what they wanted for them. It was giving Remus a headache trying to write it all down on paper, but it was due in two days and he needed to finish it.

He stood from his chair, there was no way he could concentrate on anything with his friends around, and went to one of the tables, unrolling the scroll onto it. He was halfway done, the basics were there, the things that were common sense, even on a more experienced level, but he was having a hard time phrasing the more difficult parts. Most likely because he didn't understand most of them himself. Remus leaned over the scroll resting his cheek on his hand.

After re-reading what he had written an idea struck him. He summoned his text book from his bag; it zipped through the room, narrowly avoiding a first years head and landed neatly in his hand.

"How's it goin'?" came a low, curious voice from Remus' right, causing him to shiver. His head snapped around and starred into Sirius' black eyes. His brain muddled itself to the point that his mouth would no longer work, so he just sat there gapping at his friend.

Sirius smirked and took the parchment from Remus, his eyes skimming over it quickly. "Oh you got Love Potion. They can be nasty," he remarked, pulling up a chair beside Remus and setting the essay back down.

_No, don't sit down! _ Remus thought to himself, his gut clenching at Sirius' nearness.

The idea escaped him and he paged through the book mindlessly, not knowing what he was looking for.

Sirius cleared his throat. Remus looked up and saw the expectant eyes his friend was giving him.

"Oh, uh, yeah I guess," he said in a non-committal tone, not really sure what Sirius had said.

"You guess? After all the crap I went through last year I thought you'd know by now," Sirius said, his voice only slightly hurt.

Lupin inwardly flinched. He didn't like when Sirius brought up sixth year, it had been a bad time for all four of the Gryffindor friends. It was troublesome to Remus that Sirius could take the subject so lightly. "Right, sorry," Remus managed to mutter out. He tried keeping his face blank so as to not betray the frustration he was feeling at being able to act normal around one of his friends.

"No problem, mate," Sirius said and ruffled Remus' hair. Inclining his head toward the paper he said, "Have you mentioned the effects of over or under boiling the dittany? It's not technically proven, 'cause it's so temperamental. Probably has something to do with it messing with emotions. Most of those potions are real finicky things. The effects are different each time, but in general they have a similar effect."

"I haven't. And I'm not sure if I should or not. I don't know if Slugghorn will want something like that in the essay. Laverne de Monmorency does mention the different stages of the potion and the general effects it will have on its consumer in his research journal, but he also says he hasn't released specific recipes due to the potions unstable state," Remus said, paging through the book so that he could show the section to Sirius.

In anticipation of reading Sirius scooted closer to Remus. The werewolf felt the small amount of comfort he'd found in discussing academics quickly disappearing.

"You could still include it, just for a speculation point. Slug can't dock you for being thorough."

Remus nodded his agreement. When he found the proper page he pushed the book more between him and Sirius, to avoid unnecessary leaning. Grabbing his essay and a quill he jotted down some notes while Sirius read. A minute passed in silence between the two, while James retold some adventure him and Sirius had shared over the past summer to Peter. Peter seemed thrilled to hear the retelling and didn't seemed bothered by the little bits of information that James had added since the last time he'd told the story.

The moment was interrupted by a tapping at the window. Peter did a kind of nervous twitch in shock. James just laughed at him and opened the window for the horned owl. A gust of cold ice wind and a whirl of snowflakes came in with the creature. James quickly took the letter attached to the bird before it flew back out into the elements. There was a collective sigh of relief amongst the Gryffindors as the window was closed.

"It's for Sirius," James said holding up the letter. Beside Remus, Sirius stood and walked around to where James stood with the letter. Taking the letter and opening it he frowned, his eyebrows drawing down to shadow his chocolate eyes.

"What's up?" James asked, coming up next to Sirius and slinging an arm over his best friends shoulder. Craning his neck to see the letter Sirius was reading.

Sirius jerked it away and crumpled it into a ball before James could see anything. "Stupid stuff," he responded with a tight smile.

"Your folks, huh?" James said moving to sit down next to Remus. Sirius just tilted his head to the side in acknowledgement.

Remus stared at the paper in Sirius's hands. There was no chance the most noble house of Black would send a letter on such a poor piece of paper. There wasn't even silver inlay on it. Remus frowned at Sirius's lie. Why wouldn't he tell James who had sent the letter?

Sirius yawned and stretched, arching his back and reaching for the ceiling with balled fists. "Well, I'm off to bed. Night," Sirius said over his shoulder as he moved quickly toward the boy's dormitory stairs.

James and Remus stared after their friend. Sirius was nearly always the last person to bed. He'd practically made it a goal of his to stay up later than any other person in Gryffindor tower.

James relented first, shrugging off his friend's oddness and then followed him up the stairs. Peter, in true Peter fashion, followed shortly after.

Remus sighed as he watched Peter's back disappear up the stairs. He dropped himself back in front of his essay, but instead of looking at it he threw his head into his hands and rubbed vigorously at his scalp in frustration.

The young werewolf felt relieved that his friends were gone. He hadn't felt that way since 2nd year before they had discovered his secret. Remus loved being around James, Sirius and Peter. When he was with them he felt whole, normal almost. Of course he had to have that torn away from him by his own emotions.

Remus slammed his head down onto the table, creating a rather loud thud. _Stupid! _ How could he have done something so stupid as to fall for Sirius Black. Now he had to pretend everything was normal, the way it had been. At least before he hadn't known what he was missing. The comfort, the ability to relax and just be himself around a group of people. But not that he knew what it was like it hurt to lose that piece. Sure it was still fun to be around them, but he was always afraid, always worried they would discover his newest obsession.

Remus lifted his head from the table and stared blankly down at Laverne de Monmorency's journal. Terrible, dirty ideas popped into Remus's head whenever he looked in depth at the love potion. There were too many possibilities, too many ways to use it without being caught. Remus slammed the journal shut and shoved his essay back and books back into his book bag. He wouldn't let himself dwell on the possibilities.

By now most of the Gryffindors had gone to bed, only a few 7th years were still up, working hard on advanced class work. The firelight glowed about the red room, making it look like the warmest place on earth. With a small yawn Remus moved toward the stairs.

Remus walked up the stairs to the boy's dormitories slowly, each step causing his book bag to hit the back of his calves as he walked in a steady rhythm. He could feel his eyes already beginning to droop. As he rounded the corner to the dorms the firelight from the common that had provided illumination faded. The torches were not lit in the hall and he didn't care enough to bother fixing this. He let seven years of memories guide him through the dark passage until he turned into the 7th year boys dorm.

It was odd how whenever something tugged at a person's mind, or was new and amazing, that something suddenly became more apparent than obvious.

Leaning back against the closed door, Remus stared in wonder at Sirius' sleeping state. Sirius's bed was the furthest from the door and the closest to the window. White light from the moon flooded into the dim room showcasing the sleeping Gryffindor's features. The moon beams seemed to caress the boy's lines and curves, making them appear soft and fluid. The tension was completely gone from Sirius' face.

Remus felt his stomach twist at the sight. He wanted to touch, to hold, to _taste_ his sleeping friend. He took a step forward, so scared that at any moment the spell would be broken and Sirius would catch him staring. With that fear and that wonder Remus made it to Sirius's bedside and stared down, hand hovering inches from his friend.

Just once. Just once he could touch and feel the happiness he longed for. His fingers inched forward, reaching. Sirius shifted in his sleep, rolling onto his side. Before he had resettled into a comfortable position Remus was in his bed with the curtains drawn.


End file.
